Book Fair

I volunteered to work Book Fair yesterday at the kids’ school.

I won’t be volunteering again.  And it wasn’t even a high-pressure day.

What with all my free TIME and stuff…I figured I could donate a few hours to this little fundraiser.  The day I worked was the day that the children simply “look” and “jot down” what they might like to buy.  Then they tell their parents.  At which point their parents have a fit over the cost of the books and only give them money to buy one or two…the next day.  So today?  Not much buying.

And it wasn’t the whole school or anything that showed up during my shift.  It was only the kindergartners and their 4th grade buddies who were there to “help” the kindies “jot down” their wish list which really devolved into the 4th graders mostly making their wish lists and not watching the kindies as they WALKED OUT with books!

But there were a few intrepid souls who must have penciled the Book Fair into their assignment pads and therefore actually brought money to spend during viewing day.

I worked (food) retail in high school and could barely stand it when adults handed me credit cards.  Having a monkey in the guise of a kindergarten boy hand me a ziploc bag of $41 IN COINS for $40.49 worth of books puts me on edge.

And then there was the little girl with the red headband who pony-skipped in with a book (which was clearly not bought but which “accidentally” made its way back with her to the kindergarten classroom where the teacher must have “strongly encouraged” her to quickly return it).  She dropped it back on the table from wence it came and then hightailed it outta there!  All without making eye contact.  Perhaps she thought she was invisible and we wouldn’t notice?

Finally, there was another little girl who had a $20 bill in a flowered wallet who wanted to buy an invisible pen.  Uh – this is a BOOK Fair, not an invisible pen fair.  Are you sure your mother would want you to buy it?!

Girl: “Ooooh yes.  This is my birthday money and she said I could buy whatever I want.”

Me: [in my head] “Then do you wanna buy me a shot?!?” (heh heh heh – totally kidding.  Kindof.  Because don’t be silly.  There wouldn’t be a bar at book fair…otherwise it would be called BAR fair.  And the audience would be limited.)

Ugh.  But you see, right?!  I can barely tolerate my own children and I birthed them.  Other people’s children being chaotic and handing me dirty money is not my idea of fun.

So like I said, I won’t be going back.  Been there, done that.  Cross it off the list.  I have better things to do with my TIME.   Like reading 50 Shades of Grey for example.

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