I know, I know. The last few posts have been so sad-sack, woe-is-me that even I can’t take it any more! So let’s move on to something a little more…er…uplifting, shall we? Let’s talk about Stress Urinary Incontinence. Or for those without a medical degree: Bladder Leakage.
I received a flyer in the mail yesterday stating that 1 in 3 women suffer from bladder leakage. Now – don’t act surprised or anything – but I’m the 1 (in 3). I’ve blogged about it here, and here, and here (Tony Horton’s PEE-o-metrics ringing a bell??), so this can’t possibly be news to you.
MEEEE and my BLAAAAAAAADER, strollin’ down the avenue! Me and my BLAAAAADER, not a soul to tell our troubles too.
But now? Now I’m in luck and the flyer states that University of Colorado Hospital is offering a FREE women’s educational seminar on this very topic at their Lone Tree Health Center in July. (How did they even know to send this flyer to me?!? Do they have a camera trained on me or something?!?)
The first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem. Oops! Nope. Wait. I was thinking of something else just then. Actually, according to the flyer, the first step is…learning more. Oh. Yeah. That makes more sense.
Anyone wanna join me?! Knock it off – I’m sick of your piss-poor excuses. Come one! It’ll PEEEE fUUUUUUuuuuuuunn! I can bring my partner (who would never, EVER come) or…guests. So who’s in?!? I know you’re out there. (There might even be a camera trained on YOU! In fact I can see you RIGHT now looking around. Yes, YOU! Hi. Right here – hi.)
This is no time to mind your PEE’s and Qs and tiptoe around the topic. This is time for some candid discussion.
Won’t you join me?? Pretty PEEEEEse?!
Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle – ask not for whom the bell tinkles, it tinkles for YOU!
Also? Refreshments will be served.
Peaberry coffee, water and MORE water.
Bwaa haaa HAAAAAA! [psss] I make myself laugh.
Then you know what they’ll probably do after the refreshments?! They’ll make us do jumPEEEng jacks. On a trampoline. And tell us we need an operation. tee-tee heeee [psssss]
Whatever you do, don’t SNEEZE!!! [pssss…PSSS]
BWAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAA!!!! [PSSSSSSSS]
Oh for PEEEEte’s sake! This is no laughing matter. It’s a serious PEE-R-O-B-L-E-M a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o,….,q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z.
Where’s the ‘p’??? It’s running down my leg. [pssssssssss]