Teddy and Teleporters

Lately the new dog, Teddy, has been buckin’ the system and trying to get OUT of his kennel as we’re trying to put him in it!

So, being the kind and loving mother I am (why are you snickering?  Stop it.  I said STOP.) I developed a work-around.  I went to Target and got a baby gate.  I put the dog’s kennel and water/food dishes in the laundry room and the next time I left, I made him go in his kennel IN the laundry room, but I didn’t shut the kennel door.  Instead I just put up the baby gate at the mouth of the laundry room and let him spread out a bit while I was gone.  See?  Problem solved.  In a thoughtful and creative way. (STOP SNICKERING!  Or I will bean you!  Great.  Now you’re making me lose my loving mojo.)

Except when I got back home…Teddy was on the OTHER side of the baby gate; which was still totally secure and intact.  The dog is too small to jump over the gate (I’m pretty sure he is, at least).  And he couldn’t have climbed over (again, I’m pretty sure, at least).  So how did he get over??

My husband thinks Teddy may not have even BEEN in the laundry room when I secured the gate.  (Thanks, Hon.  That makes me seem totally sane and competent.)

My son thinks Teddy used a teleporter.  Now THIS is a theory I can get behind.

Me: “Uh – if you had the use of a teleporter…wouldn’t you teleport to someplace like PARIS?  Instead of into the kitchen??”

Sonny: “Well, maybe it’s just a house teleporter.  So it only works in the house.”

Me: “Hmmmm.  Maybe.  It just seems like a waste of teleportation capabilities.”

[Don’t you too want to live in his world?  This is the world where the possibility exists that dogs can access teleporters from the laundry room.  I practically LIVE in the laundry myself, and have NEVER noticed a teleporter.  But you know who WOULD notice a teleporter?  The dopey dog.  And hey!  If the boy is living in a world where the DOG uses a teleporter he found in the LAUNDRY ROOM to teleport into the KITCHEN…then I’m totally gonna live in that world too.  And?  I’m gonna find the teleporter, jerry-rig it, and teleport into a kitchen IN PARIS!]

Allons-y!! (that means “Let’s Go!” in French.  And yes, it’s a total mystery why no one has hired me yet.)

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