Stitch ‘n Bitch

I just downloaded this book from the library to my Nook.  (Home Mom in the house, savin’ money!  Whoop, whoop!!!).

Yes.   That is the actual name of the book.  Stitch ‘n Bitch by Debbie Stoller.

I originally got the book thinking it might be a murder-mystery; The dead body stabbed through the heart with knitting needles or something like that.  But turns out it’s an actual book ABOUT knitting.

Which is really a good thing because as a new stay at home mom, I’ve recently turned to knitting to 1) save money on gifts and 2) fill up my time as high-powered-marketing-executive-forcibly-turned-to-leisure-time.  ‘Cept after a few months, I find I’m a little bored with the scarves and socks I’ve been knitting for everyone (hi family, friends and neighbors!).  And that’s where this book comes in.  I want to move on to something more, and you can’t BELIEVE the ideas for “more” that are in this book.

But the downside is that the “language” of knitting (and make no mistake, knitting is a language and a world unto itself) is a little confusing.

…And I’m normally so GOOD at languages.  I can “translate” into marketing speak anything a computer programmer says as he sits on his big, blue, core-strengthening excercise ball in his cut-off jean shorts and birkenstocks, tappity, tap, tapping away on his keyboard in outer space.  And don’t EVEN get me started on talking the pompous language of Data Management with its holier-than-thou acronyms like service-oriented architecture (SOA) especially in the context of leveraging a flexible architectural model for the purposes of BI (Business Intelligence) and DI (Data Integration).  To say nothing of the necessity in this scenario for Master Data Management (MDM) with it’s customer data integration and data governance & compliance demands!  Sarbanes-Oxley anyone?

See??!  I can speak many different languages.  But I struggle with the language of knitting.  Is it because knitting is a LOT like math?  Knit one, purl two.  Totally math.  And when you add in the fact that there are Continental AND English knitting styles, little ol’ left-handed me doesn’t know which way is up (hint: when you hold up your hand with the pointer finger and thumb at ninety-degrees, the one that makes an “L” is the left one, which is “up”).  So it requires an entire book in order to understand it.  And once you get deeper into it, you realize the book MUST have ‘Bitch’ in the title.  Gaaah!  Totally appropriate.  Totally, totally appropriate.

And just to level-set here…I recognize that I may have slipped off the deep-end with my knitted approach to gifts.  So please feel free to tell me.

And also?  If you EVER see a knitted Princess Snowball Cat Bed in my house – or I start giving them as gifts?  Shoot me.  And if you ever see me knitting a BIKINI??!  Ditto.  And if for some reason me KNITTING the bikini has escaped your notice and you see me WEARING a knitted bikini?!??  Shoot to kill.  No questions asked.

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  1. Pingback: Savin’ Money, Honey! | New Stay at Home Mom

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