Rules of Engagement

My son will be turning nine on Sunday.  But tonight?  He’ll be having a big birthday party/sleep-over bash.  Which is weird because after last year’s sleep-over party, I DISTINCTLY remember saying (ok, maybe in a loud, yell-y sort of way) that he was never, EVER going to have another sleep-over party again!

But second verse, same as the first…a little bit louder.  And a little bit worse.

In my defense, I did give him the choice of having a birthday party…or…A HUNDRED DOLLARS!  Knowing full well that he’d choose the hundred bucks and I’d actually come out ahead financially on the deal.

This decision is apparently the “Sophie’s Choice” of the 10-and-under set.  And he agonized over it for three weeks before finally deciding that he’d go with the party (after seeking clarification that he would still get breakfast-in-bed on his actual birthday.  He LOVES that tradition and just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t go away.  Ahhh.  How cute is he?!  Yes, Sweetie.  You still get breakfast in bed if you want it.  Even Mean Mommy can’t resist you, you cute little/big thing).

But Gaaaaaaah!!! What have I gotten myself into?!?  I thought for sure that he’d take the money.  And NOW? I thought for sure everyone would be going away during the long week-end and therefore wouldn’t be available to attend a sleep-over party.   Rats!  Foiled again!!!

So as a last ditch effort to keep my head from popping off, Sonny has been “encouraged” to come up with the Rules of Engagement for his birthday party which he will share with his friends when they arrive.  He is still deciding whether to read them out loud king’s-proclamation-style, or just post them somewhere obvious.  But here they are verbatim:

  • Respect adults [good]
  • Don’t be too wacky [very good]
  • No breaking stuff [yes!]
  • No being too rough [uh…ok]
  • Ian H. – don’t make weird meals out of your food [slightly concerning that we had to have a specific rule for Ian H., but ok]
  • Go to bed when you’re told [yes!  And you’ll be told to go to bed at about 7 p.m]
  • Don’t have too much cake [excellent point!  The sugar makes you wacky – back to rule #2]
  • No trashing stuff [wait!  this seems like a combination of rules 1, 2, 3 AND 4 – but ok.  It’s worth saying it in a slightly different way]
  • No annoying people when they’re sleeping [seems like someone is now speaking from experience?]
  • No bugging my sister [always a problem and it’s good to mention it]
  • No bugging my mom [YES!  Absolutely!  What he said!!!]
  • Some other ones I can’t think of right now [which in job description terms would be “other duties as assigned”]

In spite of the Rules of Engagement, the night is guaranteed to be horrific.  With my son being the ring-leader of all of the rule breaking going on.  He may not live to see his 9th birthday.

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