Parade of Nations

I flippin’ LOVE the Olympics. As a result, I’ve made my children LOVE the Olympics.  (Which only seems fair since I made them HATE skiing.  You’re welcome, kiddees.  Happy to help.  Mommy’s a helper.)

As a result of the love, the kids and I slogged through the opening ceremonies last night long after Hubby had gone up to bed.

And in order to keep the energy alive as we rolled closer to the Brazilian version of X-Y-Z countries, we had the brilliant idea to issue “awards” during the Parade of Nations. Some of the awards we awarded are as follows:

Oh, wait, but first, let me say that a grand total of none of us like the Dr. Seuss mobiles that accompanied the nations into the arena. Nope, none of us.  Those bikes with all the stuff sprouting off of them?  Too wacky for words.

Ok, so here goes:

  • Best flag? Barbados. It’s a frickin’ trident. ‘Nuf said.
  • Best shorts? Bermuda. Heheheh.
  • Best hat? Burkina Faso.
  • Best overall outfits? Burundi. Because any outfit that allows you to walk into an Olympic Stadium with a 6 foot walking stick PER PERSON?! RULES.
  • Best outfit-that-looks-like-they-just-got-off-the-plane-for-a-nice-vacation-in-the-Cayman-Islands? The Cayman Islands.
  • The “Oy vey, who’s still wearing white shoes nowadays?!” award goes to China. Pssst! China. Nude peep toes would’ve sufficed.
  • Best jackets-that-look-like-a-pizzeria-sign? Croatia.
  • Biggest team? U.S.A. U.S.A.
  • Team voted most likely to wear Ralph Lauren blue blazers for the umpteenth year in a row? Also U.S.A.  Yes, USA won two awards.  We’re slightly biased.
  • Opening Ceremony outfit voted to be most similar to a 90’s gala event/evening-dress outfit? Georgia.
  • Most confusing yet similar names of several countries? Guinea, Equatorial Guinea and Papua New Guinea.
  • Best flag bearer? Iran. Holding your country’s flag FROM A WHEELCHAIR while being an OLYMPIC ATHLETE?!? Word! And chick’s coming with me to the Hunger Games if the world goes there one day, sorry Katniss.
  • Flag bearer’s hair which most closely matches their country’s flag? Jamaica.
  • Best jacket? Nehru. Heheheh.
  • Best Dab? (It’s a dance move, Mom.) Palau.
  • Best Distressed Jeans? Portugal. But we think you folks should’ve dressed up more. USA wore blue blazers, afterall.
  • Best Team? The Refugee Team. Worthy of the standing ‘O’ they received.

One award was given after that. I received it.  Not that I’m an Olympic athlete or anything.  Instead, I was voted “the most likely to fall asleep during the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, in spite of LOVING the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.”

A big thank you to all the little people who helped me get where I am today.

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