Mother’s Day 2014

The Fourth Grade Mother’s Day Program was this past Thursday.  The kids recited original poems-about-their-mothers (my favorite was the one entitled, “My Mother is Like a Horse.”  Yeah.  And I betcha Mom’s gonna feed you HAY-with-spit-in-it for dinner tonight to thank you for calling her a horse in front of all the other mothers.)

But before we could get to our one-cookie-and-glass-of-lemonade allotment …when my son delivered my “refreshment,” my drink was half drunk.  I’m hoping HE was to blame for the missing lemonade, and not the teacher, or someone ELSE’S son!  Either way it couldn’t have been any of the other mothers because they were too busy gabbing to each other and ignoring the one dad in the crowd whose wife had to work, while Horse Mom stood in the corner with a feedbag on her head…  the kids read and sang a rousing version of “Love You Forever” based on a book by Robert Munsch. 

When the “show host” announced this portion of the program, a murmur went through the crowd.  I’ve never read this book but apparently it takes place in Creep Town, U.S.A. where it’s standard practice for a mother to crawl across the floor of her son’s bedroom, to gather his sleeping form into her arms, then rock him and tell him she loves him.  That’s ok when the boy is two.  But when he’s a married man and Mom has to drive across town and climb into his bedroom window to do this rocking biz while her son is sleeping next to his wife in their bed?!?  I think we can all agree on the Creep Town, U.S.A. thing.

So all the other mothers are whispering furiously to each other.  And the kids on stage are narrating the son’s life: when he’s two, a teen-ager, a young adult etc.  After each lifestage, the kids sing (in a charming, upbeat-yet-dirge-like way) the refrain the mother uses every time she does her creepy creeping, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My baby you’ll be.”

Some of the other mothers have started to cry.  Which I CANNOT get behind, because I’m stunned by the overt Creep Factor Five Thousand.

Then it’s my son’s turn.  He’s narrating how the mother couldn’t finish her final song to her son because she was too old and sick.  So the son instead goes to his mother and takes her in his arms and rocks her back and forth, back and forth and sings, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My MOMMY you’ll be.”  

And?  WATERWORKS.  Beaucoup, beaucoup de waterworks.  (That’s French for alotta tears.  Why haven’t I been hired yet?!?) 

And then?  Then the “boy” goes home and picks up his sleeping, infant daughter out of her crib and sings the original version of the song to her.  Waaaaaa!  WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  <–that was me doing that, not the sleeping, infant daughter.

But enough about me.  On this Mother’s Day I’d like to say a big thank you to my mommy.  For not being as creepy as the mommy in that story.  (At least, not that I know of.  I’ll have to double-check with Hubby to see if he’s spotted you in our bedroom rocking me.)  And while we’re not to the rocking portion of your story yet, you can count on me when it comes!  (Also?  I meant what I said about the diaper thing and how it applies to those I birthed and to those who birthed me.  So we’re in for some laughs there.)

But until then, Mom, I just wanted you to know – I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My MOMMY you’ll be. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

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