Garbage Woman

I’m in deep here folks.

It all started out so innocently.  It was garbage day.  I took the dog for a walk.  And I noticed that there’s some really, REALLY nice garbage in my ‘hood.  It’s SUCH nice garbage that I had to text one neighbor to see if I could…uh…take it.

Yes.  Yes.  Ok.  I took her garbage.  Are you happy now?  Making me say it straight out like that!??

But do you see what I mean when I say, “I’m in deep here??”  Really – what kind of stay at home mom goes for a walk with the dog and ends up picking through the neighbor’s garbage?!?  AND?  I got caught doing it by the neighbor’s across-the-street neighbor.

Of course I was all laugh-y and joke-y about the whole thing.  Mentioning to Neighbor-who-caught-me that Neighbor-whose-garbage-I-was-taking had actually given me permission.  Hardy har har.  [insert overzealous horse laugh here] I also mentioned that I was ONLY going to be using it for craft projects and offered to share the loot with Neighbor-who-caught-me so as to fully demonstrate that I was in my right mind and just having a bit of fun with the whole thing and was IN NO WAY desperate or mentally unbalanced.  She declined by claiming she wasn’t that crafty.

Meanie!  Rebuffing my efforts to raise up to acceptable levels what is essentially my dumpster diving.

What you don’t know but which I’ll mention here is that I never did go back for the post-hole digger on the other street.  It seemed in great shape.  Of course, I was just looking at it, not touching it or picking it up for inspection because there were too many people around.  And I didn’t know that neighbor to text them and ask for it.  Maybe I’m not in so deep after all since I do have my dumpster diving standards, right?!

Right?!??

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