Falling Flat

…This is an open letter to the person or persons who have the Prank Camera trained on me while Hubby is out of town…

Dear Sir or Sirs,

I have been aware of your existence for a while.  Seems like every time Hubby is out of town, something totally crappy happens.  This could only be the result of you causing the awfulness, then monitoring me for my reaction via your hidden cameras so as to get outstanding YouTube footage.  This is a completely natural assumption on my part.

And while this has all been absa-frickin-lutely hilarious; can we be done now?

Take, for example, the ol’ flat tire hijinks from this morning.  At first glance, there’s nothing funnier than coming out of the house with the massive backpacks and the kids belonging to same only to find the back right tire on the car is completely flat.  Nothing.  Funnier.

But what you weren’t privy to was the ominous black pick’emup truck randomly parked in front of our house all night long.  When Sonny noticed it this morning, all frost covered, that naturally meant that the person who drove the truck was somehow now in our house, and had been all night long.  So my comment as we were heading out the door about how, “we had better hurry up and leave before the man in our basement wakes up,” already had everyone nervously tittering while anxiously glancing at each other in a Heavens-to-Betsy-I-hope-there’s-not-really-a-man-sleeping-in-our-basement sort of way.

Unless YOU were the man in the pick’emup, then in our basement??  Could be.  That seems just like something you would do to “amp up” the fun factor so as to get even better footage.

So we were already on edge even BEFORE the mad dash on the tire rim to get some temporary air so that we could then bust across town to school, hopping out at every stoplight to make sure the tire wasn’t shredding as we went – hopping and hoping.

Because, you see, it’s annual nationwide testing time for the kids.  And they can’t be late to school, because if they are, they have to sit out the whole morning and then have to make up the testing some other time.  And no one, NO ONE, has time for that nonsense.

This entire scenario basically had us ALL chumming in our mouths from nerves by the time we got to school.  I can’t even IMAGINE what the kids’ scores are going to look like from today.  Thanks a lot.

Also?  That whole “screw in the tire which coulda been repaired if a ‘certain someone’ hadn’t driven on the rim??”  That was a nice touch.  You owe me two hundred bucks.

And as I’m posting this blog, I notice your truck is now gone.  So it seems like you’re getting the message that we’re done.  [insert Jersey Girl thumb-to-throat slitting motion here]  DONE!

You could have at least made the bed in the basement before you packed up your cameras and left, though.  Rude much?!

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