Escape From Planet Earth

In addition to being an expensive nap (Hey!  I already explained that no one ever lets me sleep in so what do you expect when I’m stuck in a dark, relatively quiet room for an hour-and-a-half?!?) – the newly released Escape From Planet Earth brings the Working Woman vs. Stay At Home Mom debate to a whole ‘nother level.  It goes intergalactic!

In brief:  Kira was the head of the space program on Planet Baab until she decided to be a stay at home mother.  Now, she is pitted against the NEW head of the space program, Lena, who is out for world domination while at the same time being embittered that she doesn’t have a family like Kira, but instead has a highly successful career and a bizarre love interest on Planet Earth who wears an Elvis wig (I can NOT for the life of me draw any parallels with the Elvis wig, so I’ll leave it alone).

Oh.  You’ll see “other” plot summaries of the movie out there.  Blah, blah, blah.  For example, some sources claim the movie is about a science-y, blue space alien brother (Gary, who is Kira’s husband) who goes to save his brave blue space alien brother (Scorch) who’s been duped by Lena into bringing an explosive device to planet earth.  In the process Scorch gets captured by US government official, William Shanker (spoiler alert – he’s the bald dude who wears an Elvis wig while woo-ing Lena during their FaceTime dating sessions).   But only conspiracy theorists float those versions of the movie.  So don’t be fooled!  The movie is really about Working Women and Stay at Home Moms and their age-old debate about who has the better gig.

To which I say – Ladies: You both have a really great thing going on.  Just appreciate it.  Just enjoy it.  You’ve both made enormous sacrifices to get where you are.  You don’t make your side of the argument more stunningly effective by belittling the other side of the argument.  (And you NEVER make your case by planning full world domination.  And no one.  I mean NO ONE should have a love interest who wears a bad Elvis wig.  You’re ALL worth more than that.  And really, this should be where our greatest powers are revealed; Through GUIDING the weaker sex in their fashion sense.  Bad “rugs” are never in.)

Speaking from experience, no matter what side of the fence you’re on, the grass – in fact – is NOT always greener.  And it’s NEVER blue-er.  So stop thinking it is.  And really, if we can’t get this issue settled soon, I’m gonna wanna Escape from Planet Earth too!

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