County Coroner

On my way home from Costco today, I saw a sign that said, “Elect So And So for County Coroner.” 

[And yes, I DO still go to Costco despite what I said in previous posts about never going to Costco again.  So yes, yes, my pants are on fire and the telephone wire is in imminent danger of burning down from my pants.]

But anyway…does anyone else see the flaw in the elect-the-county-coroner plan?

I mean, shouldn’t we be hiring the most qualified person for that job; Rather than someone who can run a good political campaign??

It just seems a little bass ackwards to me that County Coroner would be an elected position.  Would we really want someone who has the looks and money to throw a successful political campaign fiddlin’ around with the dearly departed?

Wouldn’t someone who knows his (or her, the mother can be the doctor, after all) way around a dead body be a better choice??  In which case, just APPLY for the job and be judged by a panel of experts on your credentials and success rate like the rest of the world does when they’re trying to get a job.  And no, I don’t have a job yet, but thanks for BRINGING IT UP!  stink eye, stink eye  

Of course, it could be that the elect-the-county-coroner process makes a ton of sense, and I’m just talking out of my Coroner’s hole here.  So I should probably ‘fess up right now and say that I don’t really know anything about politics.  It seems too close to math (with all that talk about “left” and “right”) for my comfort, so I steer waaaaaay clear.  In which case, Political Science Major Hubby will weigh in shortly with a “take your blog down NOW before the world knows of your ignorance.” 

Until then, I’m picturing the County Coroner election winner Day One on the job, grinning at his landslide while elbow-deep in some poor, unfortunate’s thoracic cavity, “Bodies schmodies.  Don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout no bodies.  Hey, what’s this squishy thing? Wee-eeeh, eee-eeeh!”  [That was our big winner making silly noises while squishing something inappropriate because he’s completely unqualified to be elbow deep in someone’s thoracic cavity].

All I can hope is, once he hits the stinky bits that come next, his too-straight nose will pillow him gently as the floor rushes up to meet his face.

Anyone else think the whole elect-the-county-coroner process would be akin to hiring corporate job candidates based on how funny and pretty they are?

Because we all know if THAT were the case, I’duv been hired about twenty THOUSAND times by now.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!

But I haven’t been.  And wait.  I think I just insulted myself – usurping my mad job skilllzzzz with my personality and beauty.  But pay that no attention.  Let’s talk about what we’re making for dinner.  I’m making chicken.  And when I say I, I mean Costco.  It’s one of their rotisserie chickens which I bought for the reasonable price of $4.99.  I hope it’s not squishy.  Wee-eeeh!  Eee-eeeh!!

Leave a Reply