Do you remember that Hamburger Helper slogan: Hamburger Helper helps the hamburger help HER make a great meal.

Well I say BARF to all of it!  Hamburger Helper AND their slogan.

While I long to go back to the days of yore when moms had nothing else to do but make great meals, that ship has sailed and moms have to do all that mom stuff AND work outside the home.

But I’m getting off track from my original point which is…the one time I had Hamburger Helper, it tasted like barf.  And to complicate things, I think their old slogan from the 80’s was totally misogynistic.  And so on principal, I won’t buy the stuff now that I have nothing to do but make great meals (I’m TRYING to get a job, so screw you).

And did you know?  The word misogynistic is one of the words I use that my husband HATES.  (Yes, I sometimes use it in casual conversation.  Trust me.  There are plenty of reasons it comes up.  Hamburger Helper and their rat-bastard 80’s slogan for one.)

And since we’re on the topic, I’ll share with you the other words I use that he hates.  In no particular order, they are:

2)Discordant.  I usually use this when referring to annoying Lynyrd Skynyrd crap music he listens to where they go off on tangential guitar riffs and the whole discordant mess makes me want to claw my ears off.

3)Strident.  I’m not sure it’s the actual WORD he hates.  But my voice BEING strident?  Totally.  Because I can make my strident voice sound eerily like my mother’s strident voice when calling his name.  Naturally, I use this to good effect when I need something.  Say Hubby and I are in a crowded bar and I need him to get me a drink.  I make my voice sound as much like my mother’s as possible when I speak his name stridently over everyone’s head.  This immediately gets his attention and I get my beer!  Win/Win.  Hi Mom!

Ok…so…there are three most-hated words.  And then there are three most-hated phrases, which are:

1)Fixin’s.  I’m not sure this is actually a phrase, but Hubby insists it is.  Fixin’s is typically used in conjunction with dinner plans wherein I might say something like, “I have fixin’s for tacos so that’s what we’re having for dinner.  No, we can’t use the meat to make burgers on the grill ’cause I don’t have any other fixin’s for burgers.”

2)Tips n’ Tricks.  It’s just what it sounds like – insider information or helpful hints based on someone else’s lessons-learned.  My friend from Australia claims this isn’t actually a real U.S. saying; that I just made it up.  But I beg to differ.  It can be used in a multitude of ways for a variety of reasons.  For example: “Hey Department of Labor.  My job search doesn’t seem to be going so well.  Do you have any tips n’ tricks you can share with me for finding employment comparable to what I had this time last year??”

And the third phrase?  See if you can pick it out from the following example: This has been a good blog post, hasn’t it?  Fun?  Check.  Too much information??  Check.  All done???  CHECKITY, CHECK, CHECK!!!